Married 9 Years
As of 11:05 AM today I’ll have been married to Kiara for 9 years! We’ve been together for about 10 years, and we’ve known each other for about 13 years.
We originally met on a MUD called The Edge of Darkness back in 1994. She was playing a mage named “Jade” that worked for a mercenary guild full of black hearts, deep purses, and very few scruples. I was playing a paladin named (you guessed it) Beosig that was the First Sword in The Order of Justice. Needless to say, we didn’t get along all that well.
My roommate was playing a bard named Thain, and he joined Jade and crew as a mercenary. My roommate eventually stopped playing, and I took over Thain. Eventually the mercenary guild and the Order of Justice went the way of the do-do, and I recreated Beosig as a warrior because I was tired of being the guy that just hunted down killers and thieves.
About this time, Kiara started a new character named Crystal that was a cleric. Well, clerics need warriors, and warriors need clerics. Except for unlocking the occasional door, a cleric and a warrior together can handle just about anything. Crystal and I were a team to be reckoned with. We went everywhere together, and we took on pretty much everything in the world. It was great!
Also about this time a friend of ours started a new guild called the “Society of Honor and Valor” or something like that (I know for sure it had “Honor and Valor” in there somewhere.) We joined up with a good sized group of people that really just wanted to group, kill things, run around, and not cause trouble.
Someone else on the MUD decided that we needed an enemy and started an evil guild just for the express purpose of killing our members. This totally ruined the game for me. You could no longer take risks and go after the really hard mobs on the MUD because the other guild would stalk you until you were weakened from a tough fight, and take you out. You’d end up losing all of your gear, and, as a warrior, this pretty much meant that you were now powerless.
It was about this time that I decided to start my own MUD. This was February of 1996. I invited Kiara and another friend to join me in this venture, and we had a grand time writing bugs (me), finding bugs (Kiara), coming up with new ideas (all three of us), and fixing bugs (me.) We were splitting our time between The Edge of Darkness and Spear of Insanity, and having a good time doing it.
One night (I wish I could remember the exact date,) Kiara logged out of Spear of Insanity, and told me that she was heading over to Edge of Darkness to play. When she logged out, I felt a profound sense of emptiness. That’s when I realized that I had feelings for her that went beyond friendship, which was weird. I knew her. I knew her quite well. We had spent hours on Edge of Darkness talking about personal stuff while waiting for zones to reset. That night I realized that I wanted to meet her, and see if we could get along outside the digital worlds that we hung out in.
That’s when I asked for her phone number. She willingly gave it to me, and that started our almost nightly phone calls back and forth for a week or two. That’s when I decided that I wanted to meet her in person, and I got a plane ticket to fly from San Antonio, TX, to Great Falls, MT to meet her. I also decided that I truly did love her, and that I wanted to get her a ring. Not an engagement ring, but a ring with some sort of diamond on it. I could only afford about $100 on the ring, and it’s one of the most pathetic diamonds that you’ll ever find. Despite that, Kiara still wears the ring everyday, which makes me most happy.
I flew up to Montana for a long weekend, and we spent most of the time her small one-room apartment just hanging out, talking, and watching movies. She took me out to the nearby mountains where there was a waterfall, and that’s where I gave her the ring. She was very shocked, and I quickly realized what she was thinking. I quickly told her that it wasn’t an engagement ring, but just a symbol of my love for her.
When the weekend was over, I was heartbroken to have to leave her, but I knew that I would be returning to Montana soon. I had already decided to move up there to be with Kiara. A long month passed in which we both racked up $300 phone bills with all of the phone calls, but the time came for me to move to Montana. Everyone, including my mother, thought I was crazy for picking up and moving across the country for someone that I had only met once. Everyone, especially my step-father, was very supportive, and wished me the best.
Kiara flew into Dallas, and I picked her up there. We drove to Fort Worth, and spent the weekend at a party for Edge of Darkness players. We got to meet tons of people that we had known for years online. It was a great experience, and it was the first time Kiara and I had done anything like that. We had a blast while there, but it was over too quickly. While there, I had some car trouble, but some Edgers were kind enough to loan me the $300 that it took to fix my car. It took a few years, but we finally got stable enough financially to pay them back.
Kiara and I drove back down to San Antonio where she met my folks, and we hung out for several days. My mom was sad the whole time because she knew that I was leaving home. She had a feeling that it was for good, and she was right. I wasn’t 100% sure about it myself, but I was going to give it a shot. I packed up all of my stuff in my Corsica, and we started the long drive to Montana.
We stopped off for a few days in Midland, and I ran Kiara ragged around town meeting all of my friends, my family, and saying goodbye to everyone. My grandmother was concerned for me, but my grandfather knew that it was something that I had to do. He even gave me some cash for me to live on until I landed a job. It’s a good thing, too. The money barely lasted me until I got my first paycheck.
On the road from Texas to Montana, we stopped off in Colorado Springs (which is where we ended up living) to meet some more Edgers (including some of the gods!) and hung out for a few days. It was a good time, but it was also too short. We had to get to Montana in time for Kiara to get back to work.
The longest drive of my life was from Colorado Springs, CO to Great Falls, MT. It took a little over 14 hours, and the last several hours of that was through some very horrible weather. I was exhausted, bedraggled, and not looking my best when we pulled into Kiara’s folk’s house. I met my future in-laws for the first time, and I was too tired to try to impress them. My future father-in-law was very understanding, and told me that we could get to know each other the next day. I stumbled downstairs to their guest bedroom, and slept the sleep of the dead.
The next day, we got up, ate some breakfast, and then headed over to a miniature family reunion at Kiara’s grandmother’s house. I got to meet aunts, uncles, grandparents, and all sorts of people. I was on full inspection alert. Kiara was their golden girl, and I was the stranger from Texas that she met online. I was told later on that I did quite well on my first day with my future family. Kiara’s aunt even told everyone else (after we had left) that she knew for certain that Kiara and I were going to get married.
We ended up in Havre, MT where Kiara was going to college. I had arranged for an apartment of my own in the same building that Kiara was living in, and I unpacked there. We spent the next couple of months “living apart”, but spending every waking moment together. After a few months, I asked Kiara if it would be ok if we moved in together in order to save money. I was hardly at my apartment, and it didn’t make much sense to be paying rent on a place that I was only using to store my clothes, and books. She was obviously nervous at this proposition, but she agreed to it.
We lived together for about a month when I decided that I was going to ask her to marry me. On July 4th, 1997, I cajoled Kiara into taking us out to the waterfall where I had given her the tiny diamond ring earlier in the year. When we got there, we hung out, climbed on some rocks, and finally Kiara wanted to leave. I was going to ask her to marry me while at the waterfall, but I couldn’t get up the nerve. Finally, before we left, I decided that it was now or never. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. I felt bad because I didn’t have a ring, but I was more concerned about Kiara when I asked her. It looked like she was going to pass out. She kind of stood there for a moment, swayed back and forth, and looked a little pale. I had totally caught her off guard. After what felt like forever, she finally smiled at me, and simply said, “Yes.”
When we got home, we turned on the TV to find the news that Mars Pathfinder had successfully landed on Mars, and was sending back images from the surface of Mars. It was the first time that we had full color images of Mars from the surface, and it was a great day for astronomy. Somehow NASA’s and the JPL’s accomplishments echoed how I felt. We decided to go watch some fireworks, and we spent the night in each other’s arms watching the beautiful fireworks displays. It was the perfect end to a perfect day.
The next weekend we broke the news to Kiara’s family that we were getting married. We had already picked March 15th as the day because that was the first day of Kiara’s spring break, and that was pretty much the only time that we could do it unless we waited until the next summer when she graduated. Kiara’s mom was in a tizzy about flowers, preachers, churches, tuxes, dresses, invitations, guest lists, catering, etc., etc., etc. We had to slow her down, and we told her that we had eight months to figure this all out. We had already bought some books with information and checklists in them on how to arrange a wedding.
The next eight months was full of drives from Havre (where we lived) to Great Falls (where we were getting married) which takes about 2 1/2 hours one way. When I would get off work at 5, we would get on the road right away, drive to Great Falls, meet with a florist/caterer/priest/tux shop/dress shop/church. After the meeting, we would get back on the road, and get home around 11 PM. We’d do this 2-3 times a week until it was all planned out. We spent most of our weekends in Great Falls because we could get so much done during the day.
It may sound like the eight months dragged on, but we were so busy that we hardly noticed the time fly. Kiara was going to school (her senior year), and I was working full time as tech support for one of the two ISPs in town. Before we knew it, it was time to get married.
The wedding started at 11:00 AM, and ended at 11:05 AM. That’s how weddings should be. Of course, we had the reception afterwards that lasted several hours, but that was fine. I got to meet tons of Kiara’s family, and we had a good time.
The next day, we hopped on a bus (should have taken the plane, but oh well) to go from Great Falls, MT to Midland, TX. It took 2 1/2 days to make the trip, and we encountered all sorts of sketchy people along the way. I would suggest to everyone that they take at least one long bus ride during their life because it’s a great growing experience. I’m just glad that I’m not one of the people that must rely upon buses to get across country on a regular basis.
We had a reception for my family in Midland, and all of my family and friends were there. There were people from all over Texas there. It was a great reason to get together and have a good time. I was so happy to see so many of my relatives, and I think Kiara enjoyed it as well because she knew some of my friends already. She had someone to talk to while I made the rounds to all of the various family members. She even got to meet my Aunt Melba, who is, by far, the most interesting and enthusiastic member of my family.
After the reception (and a few days) in Texas, we hopped back on the bus, and spent another 2 1/2 days riding back to Montana. While passing through Colorado Springs on the bus, I looked around the city and decided that I liked what I saw. At that point, I decided that Kiara and I would move to Colorado Springs after she graduated. We hadn’t talked about it, and I didn’t tell her about my decision until much later.
The last couple of months of us living in Montana was made up of Kiara doing tons of homework, me cooking quite a bit (a shocker, I know!), the rare trip to Great Falls on the weekend, me working at an ISP, and enjoying Tuesdays. Tuesdays were our most expensive nights out on the town. We would hit a small Mexican shop that had “Taco Tuesdays” where you could get 2 tacos for $0.49. We’d usually load up on 8-10 tacos. Also, our favorite movie rental place had movies for $0.49 on Tuesdays. We’d get a movie or two to go with our tacos. We’d end up spending about $5 for a night of food and entertainment, and that was about all we could afford. Man, how times have changed.
As Kiara neared graduation, I started breaching the topic about where we were going to move to once she was done with school. Havre (population 8,000) offered no future for either of us, and we knew that we had to get out of there. Great Falls was a little better, but I had enough of Montana winters after just one of them. I told Kiara that I wanted to move someplace that was about halfway between her hometown and my hometown. She agreed to that idea, and I already knew that Colorado Springs would be the place. To make it fair, we got a map of the U.S., and we started marking cities. The only two that we would consider, and that met the equidistant requirement were Colorado Springs, and Kansas City. We started researching both cities in terms of employment, cost of living, crime rate, weather, entertainment, etc. Both cities were fairly close, but the two most important factors that we had were Kansas City’s higher violent crime rate, and the fact that we already knew people in Colorado Springs. We decided on Colorado Springs, and I’m glad that we did.
After Kiara graduated, we moved to Colorado Springs. We had arranged for an apartment, sight unseen. We had put $100 down on the apartment, and we got there, we found that it was a total rat-hole. We decided to make a go of it for a few months, and then move to a better place once we had jobs and some money. That first night, we heard gunfire in the apartment complex. After things settled down, I looked out the window and noticed several police officers standing around, so I went outside to talk to them. I asked them what was going on, and one of them told me that there had been a shooting. They thought that it was either drug or gang related. I immediately decided that we weren’t going to stay there, and I asked the police officers what neighborhood we should look to move to to stay safe. He told me to look to the north end of town (we were on the south end of town.)
There was an apartment that we had found that we liked better, but we passed on it because they didn’t allow ferrets. We had two ferrets, so we had to pass on the better apartment. This lead us to the rat-hole that we were in. We decided that it would be best to move to the better apartment, and not tell them that we had ferrets. The next day we had arranged for an apartment in the better location, but it would not be ready for 2-3 days. We got a hotel room down the street from the apartment, and lived there for a few days.
We finally got our apartment, got unloaded, and took the U-Haul back. Oi! That bill was high. Between the days of packing it, the 2 days of driving, the day at the rat-hole, the 3 days at the hotel, and the 2 days of unpacking, we racked up quite a bill. We had saved up money for moving, but this pretty much tapped our reserves. Also, since neither of us had a job, the apartment wanted the first three month’s rent up-front. That was reasonable, and we had the money in the bank account. We were able to get established in Colorado Springs, but we were pretty much flat broke by the time we got settled in.
About a month later Kiara and I both landed full-time jobs, and the money started pouring. Neither of us had made this much money individually before, and now our incomes were combined! We dug ourselves out of our financial hole fairly quickly, and life was very good.
We lived in that apartment for about a year before we decided to buy a house. It didn’t take long to find the one we liked, close on it, and move in. That was July of 1999. We lived in that house until July of 2006 when we bought a larger house with more land out in the country. The years between 1999 and 2006 were up and down, but they were mostly up. Kiara held a steady job, which allowed me to chase job after job after job. Most of the time, when I would change jobs it was for the better. This was the rule, but there were exceptions. I would quickly run away from the poor jobs in search of a better one.
The last 9 years (10 if you count the pre-marriage ones) of my life have been the best that I’ve ever had, and it’s made me wonder what the next decade will bring. I guess I’ll just have to stay on the road of life, and see where it takes me.
Papal Announcement
Here’s another strange dream that I had over the weekend…
I remember running around town in an attempt to get streaming video from the Vatican to display in all of the churches in town. Even the Protestant churches wanted to see this one because the Pope had some world shaking announcement that he was about to make. I’m not sure what the announcement was, but I remember feeling that it was one of those days that all of mankind was going to remember.
Oddly enough, the smaller churches in town were really easy to setup. The hardest ones were three huge Catholic churches that were somehow really close to each other. I had to fly to the roofs of the three churches, and then aim these really large satellite dishes at an orbiting satellite that I could somehow see.
Once the dishes were aimed, I had to run cabling from the dishes to a control room. The control rooms in the churches were awesome to behold. They were the best-of-breed electronics, dozens of TV displays, buttons, switches, levers, slides, and all sorts of other great stuff there for controlling the various displays around the church.
I got the first two churches done, and I headed to the third church. It was made of solid gold and gleamed in the sunlight. The floors were covered with white rugs that were somehow unstained despite the thousands of feet that had tread upon them. The windows were all stained glass, and they depicted many of the stories from the Bible. Over the altar at the foot of the pews was a huge crucifix that hung from the ceiling on golden wires. I stopped for a moment in awe as I drank in the sights of such beauty.
My reverie was interrupted by a priest pulling on my elbow, “Excuse me, Sir. We need you to come this way.”
I gladly followed the priest back to a control room that was even better than the other two that I had seen. I’m not sure what made it better, but I had the sense that no expense was spared in creating such a wonderful place. There were problems here, though. Despite the best equipment, they were having problems getting the feed from the Vatican. They started asking me all sorts of questions, and I had answers for most of them. Suddenly, I was in over my head, and I couldn’t answer their questions anymore. The techs in the room starting asking me if I knew anyone that did know the answers to their questions.
I turned to my left and said, “Yeah. This guy.” As I turned, my friend, Shinto, appeared behind me. I pointed to him, and the techs started to barrage him with problems. He stayed very calm and focused as he pushed past the techs to get to the console in front of them.
As he sat down, he mumbled, “I can fix this. Give me a few minutes.” Shinto typed away furiously for a few moments. Then he flipped some switches, and started to type some more. In a short amount of time, Shinto looked up, “Ok. All fixed.”
The manager of the techs stepped up and told Shinto, “You’re hired with tenure. You now have a job for life if you want the job.” Somehow he didn’t seem happy about this, but he accepted the offer.
The manager looked out a window into the chapel of the church at all of the people that had gathered to listen to the Pope speak. I looked out the window as well, and listened in on the announcement. The Pope’s image faded into view, and as he started to speak, I woke up.
I never did find out what the important announcement was, and I wondered about it for the rest of the day. What was he going to say? I guess I’ll never know.
Wal-Mart Tires
Craing called me up Sunday around 11:30, and said that he needed new tires. He didn’t want to sit around and wait for the tires to get done, so he asked if I could pick him and run around town with him. I didn’t have much else to do, so I met him about an hour later at Wal-Mart. He was just finished with the paperwork and such when I got there, so it was good timing. This was around 12:20.
We headed to Old Chicago’s for some food and beer. The service at Old C’s is usually pretty good, but this day it was slow. That’s ok. It happens sometimes. I’ll still go back there.
With our bellies full, we walked over to Best Buy, so that Craing could purchase an iPod to go along with the stereo that he put in his car a while back. Once Craing picked out his iPod, we walked over to the HDTV section to check things out. Yep. Still a little too expensive, but damn did they look good! Someday I’ll get one. We also wandered around Best Buy a while looking at various things and killing time since we were waiting for Wal-Mart to get done with the tires. They said that they would call when they were done, and we still hadn’t heard from them.
After killing time in Best Buy, we decided to head back to Wal-Mart since they were probably close to being done. When we pulled into the parking lot, Craing’s car had been moved, but the tires didn’t look all that new. Craing checked things out, and sure enough, the tires were the old ones. We wondered what they had been doing for the past two and a half hours. That’s when the fun began.
Craing went inside to inquire about the status of his car, and came back a few minutes later. He was slightly annoyed (or really pissed and hiding it quite well) because they had started working on the car an hour after we had left, but could not complete the job because they couldn’t get two of the lug nuts off. What kind of tire shop can’t get lug nuts off?!? Wal-Mart, I guess. I heard them using their impact, so I knew that they had the right tools. There was also a lug nut missing (but nothing wrong with the bolt) and they claimed that they couldn’t replace the lug nut because they don’t keep them in stock. What kind of tire place doesn’t keep lug nuts in stock?!? Wal-Mart, I guess. They had also left the hub cap off to show Craing the missing lug nut, but they had somehow lost the hub cap. What kind of tire place loses a hub cap?!? Wal-Mart, I guess. They finally tracked down the hub cap, but didn’t put it back on. Instead, they threw into the front seat of the car. Craing and I had to put it back on ourselves. What kind of tire place doesn’t even put the hub caps back on?!? Wal-Mart, I guess. Once the car was back together, Craing had to go back inside to gather his keys. They had misplaced his keys, and it took a while for them to find them. My main bitch was that they tried to replace the tires and failed. When they failed after an hour, they should have called Craing right away instead of waiting for him to show back up. It’s not like we were in a hurry that day, but it would have been nice to know that we needed to pick up the car and get it to another place ASAP.
We ended up going to a Firestone that was nearby. They were able to get the car in, get the tires changed, and they called Craing while we were at the mall waiting for the tires to get done to tell him that his brakes were shot as well. He told them to fix the brakes while they were at it. Firestone got the brakes, tires, and missing lug nut done in a little under two hours. What kind of place gets all that work done in such a short time?!? Not Wal-Mart, I guess.
International Mead Fest
Rhianni and I went to the International Mead Fest Friday night. There were some cool people, some decent meads, some good meads, and some horrible meads. I’ve been brewing beer and wine for four years now. I’m by no means an expert on the topic, but I do know what I’m doing. However, I’ve never tried making mead, so I was a total newb in the area. People were talking about the different types of mead, and asking me things like, “Do you prefer Cyser or Braggot?” Fortunately, there were lots of public (e.g.: non-mead specialists) people there, so I was able to get away with asking questions without looking too stupid.
I came home with some good literature, and some good ideas about what I like and what I don’t like. I also discovered that there are around 40 different types of honey! Holy cow! I really didn’t know that honey could be that varied. The prices on honey range from $120 to $540 for a 5 gallon bucket of it. From what I learned, 5 gallons is enough to make 2-3 batches of mead. The $120 price isn’t too bad, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be serious enough to fork over $540 for the good stuff. I did taste some of the good stuff, and it was really good!
After the party, we headed up to one of the main people’s hotel rooms to hang out. I felt a little like a fish out of water. I’m a beer brewer (and while I’ll probably try to make mead, I’m going to remain a beer guy,) and I was in a room full of mead people. I tried to avoid the topics of brewing beer in case there was some sort of cultural gap (or hatred?) between the two groups. I didn’t have to worry about it much. We spent a good three hours sipping mead, and trying a wide variety of stuff. Like at the public showing, there were some good ones, some great ones, and some bad ones. There was one in particular that was especially horrible. Rhianni, after sipping some of it, managed to get out, “It tastes like pain!” When that particular mead came around, I already had something in my tiny little sipping glass, so I missed out on it. Later, thought, Rhianni insisted that I try it, so I did. My first sip reminded me of bitter NyQuil. I thought I tasted some orange, and maybe some alum, and then maybe some honey, and then maybe something rotten. I wasn’t sure. Rhianni was right. It’s liquid pain. I’m not one to throw out alcoholic beverages, so I decided to finish the small amount of mead that I had left. I downed it as quickly as I could, and man… It sucked. I’m pretty sure that if I had made this, and I tasted it, there is no way I would bring it to an International Mead Fest, take it to a hotel room where the best in the world are hanging out, and share it. I doubt I would even keep it around for fear that someone would find out that I made something that horrible.
Rhianni and I headed back home around 1 in the morning. I seriously needed some caffeine, so we hit the nearest 7-11. As we were getting out of the car, Rhianni said, “Look. It’s a drunk cop.” I looked up, and this guy in uniform was stumbling out of the 7-11, and heading right for me. I immediately thought it would trouble. I looked closer at the guy and his badge had something like, “Northern Security Company” on it. Not a cop. He got pretty close to me, and I wasn’t going to make the first move, but I was ready for trouble. Turns out the guy was harmless, but the whole time he was yelling, “Violence! Violence! Violence!” He managed to mumble out a story about how he tried to stop a guy from stealing a TV, and got hit on the head with the “bud” of a gun. I’m pretty sure he meant “butt”, but I wasn’t about to correct him. After his short story, I told him to take care of himself, and he wandered off to his car yelling, “Violence! Violence! Violence!” Rhianni and I had a good time yelling, “Violence!” at each other on the trip home.
I had a good time, and I’m very happy that I went to the mead fest. While there I signed up for the American Homebrewing Association. I got a free book, and a free magazine out of the deal. That right there almost covered the price of the annual membership. I think it was a good buy. The book that I got was “Radical Brewing” and I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of stuff I can come up with out of the book.
American Football National Championships
On Sunday, I got together with some friends for the American football championship game (you can’t call it the S**** B*** because of legalities.) We had some good food, good salsa, good company, and a good time. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves. I’m not sure if the women enjoyed themselves because they were all upstairs in the dining room. I’m not even sure that they watched the game. All of the guys were downstairs watching the game, and we had a good time hanging out.
The commercials this year were ok, but not great. The first commercial was a FedEx commercial that represented zero-G on the moon. I thought every high school physics student learned that the moon has 1/6th of Earth’s gravity. However, the commercial did end with a great funny moment. The best commercial of the game was the Snickers commercial. Now I have a new pickup line, “Hey baby. Want to share a Snickers?”
Despite the lackluster commercials, I still enjoyed the game. It was a comedy of errors at many times because of the rain. The opening kick-off had me scared (I was rooting for the Colts,) but a friend of mine reminded me that the Colts are pretty damn good when it comes to playing from behind. My friend was quite right, and the Colts made an amazing comeback. The rain made things a nice touch. I always love watching football in inclement weather. It really makes the players try harder to do things that are generally easy for them. The extra effort separates the exceptional players from those that are merely good.
A Religious Experience
Craing told me a few weeks ago that certain monks in Europe had it rough. On days that they were required to fast, they were still allowed to drink. On these days, they were only allowed five liters of beer during the day. Yep. That’s right. That’s five liters.
Doing a little math turns the five liters into 169.070113 US fluid ounces. Doing a little more math and that turns into 14.089176083 12-ounce beers. 14 beers in a day, but no more than that!
Keep in mind that these monks didn’t have wussie beers like Bud Light, Keystone, or other pilsners. They were drinking real beer: Hefeweizen, black ale, brown ale, honey mead. Stuff that really fills the stomach and packs a punch.
Craing and I are thinking about getting together one Sunday and doing this. To meet the true spirit (get it? spirits, drinks, alcohol!) of the day, we would get up before dawn, hit a Waffle House, eat some good greasy food, and then head back to the house, and start drinking. No food until the sun goes down. Just drinking beer throughout the day to sustain ourselves. Between the two of us, that’s 28 beers. I think we can do it.
Anyone else interested in joining us for a religious experience?
Best Friends
Over the years I have been blessed with numerous good friends. Some are friends no longer because they chose to start using drugs, we had a falling out (which were usually my fault,) or one of us moved away and we never really stayed in touch. During all of these years, I’ve only had a handful of “best friends.” I guess I set the bar really high for a person that is part of my life in such an important way.
While growing up, I would move quite a bit, and leave friends behind in old neighborhoods. I really never did have a best friend. I was still learning about friendship and how friends should treat one another. My father has tons of great friends, and I learned quite a bit from them by watching how they would treat each other. They would joke around, insult each other, and laugh at minor misfortunes that some of them would experience. However, when the chips were down, and it was time to pitch in and help, they would drop everything for their friends. I was never directly taught how to treat my friends, but as I was growing up, I learned quite a bit from observing how my father and his friends treated each other. I guess it’s one of the better things that I learned from my dad even though he didn’t try to teach me anything directly.
As I think back to all of my friends, I guess my first best friend was Chris. We lived fairly close to each other. His mother and my mother were good friends, and we were in the Cub Scouts together. We held on to our friendship for quite a while. Then he got into some legal troubles, and was sent away to a juvenile facility that was about a three hour drive away. I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember that it was some pretty bad stuff. I didn’t want to associate with someone like that, so I never did make a point to look him up once he was free.
Several years passed before I met Curtis. He is, without a doubt, one of the most creative and intelligent people that I’ve ever met. We had lots of common, and that’s why we got along so well. We met our freshman year of high school, and we were both social outcasts. This helped us bond quickly, and we remained tight until his dad was transfered to Oklahoma just before our senior year of high school. We would do almost everything together. We would ride our bikes to the mall (a 25 mile round trip), skateboard (Curtis actually taught me how to skate), build remote control cars, sneak out at night and roam the neighborhood for the fun of it, and just hang out and joke. We had such a great time together. Curtis wrote me a letter a few months after he moved. I was going to write him back, but the letter ended up getting washed in my jeans pocket. The letter, along with his address, was destroyed, and I’ve never been in touch with him since.
A few months after Curtis moved away, my senior year of high school started. Through my first love, Heather, I came to meet a great group of friends. They were all in a drug prevention/recovery program, and I was invited to hang out with them. Drug and alcohol abuse is rampant among teens in my home town, and I figured that I could stay clean by hanging out with these people. I was right. We had a blast hanging out as a group. I couldn’t single any one of them out as a best friend, but they were all great to be around. It wasn’t until recent years that I found a comparable group of friends. When I graduated high school, I (along with a few others) was ousted from the group because the drug prevention hangout that we stayed at after school was for high school students only. There was an adult group, but I had nothing in common with them. I tried attending their meetings, but it just wasn’t the same. Out of the high school group, I managed to bond with J.J. quite well. We ended up moving in together after high school, and we lived together with a variety of roommates over the course of the next two years. J.J. and I spent so much time together that my step-mother would proclaim that we were attached at the hip. J.J., being a recovered drug addict, slipped and fell back into drug use. I was there for him. I reached out to him, and offered to pull him back into sobriety. The new “friends” that he made were heavy drug users, and he enjoyed life through the haze of drugs more than he valued life on the straight and narrow. I didn’t want to get sucked into that form of living, so I cut ties with J.J., and moved on. It was a painful thing to do. J.J. and I had been through quite a bit together. Up to that point in my life, I had never found someone that I connected with so well, or knew as well as I knew J.J. We had that strange, mystical connection that some twins share. In a tight spot, we would look at each other and, without speaking a word, know what the other person thought. It was strange. It was great. I’m still sad to this day that I had to cut him out of my life.
Several years passed, and I met Jason. We played dungeons and dragons together for a year or so before we really connected. He was still living with his parents in a small town about an hour drive north of my hometown. He would drive down for the D&D games, and if they ran late, he would crash at my place for the night instead of driving home. Eventually our gaming group got together almost every night, which meant that Jason was at my place almost every night as well. When we would stop gaming, and everyone would go home, Jason and I would sit and talk, joke, and smoke cigarettes until the wee hours of the morning. After a few months of doing this, our friendship was cemented fast. I’ll never find a replacement for J.J., but Jason managed to fill the void that J.J. had left behind. Jason and I started to hang out outside D&D, and we would pretty much go everywhere together. I had another friend “connected at the hip.” Jason eventually moved in with me and my roommate, and we both got into mudding, and joined the Society for Creative Anachronisms pretty much at the same time. We would spend endless hours together on the mud. We had two computers and two phone lines. We would sit next to each other and play the games, so we were almost always together in the game, and we could see each other’s screens at all times. It was a blast. While in the SCA, we joined two rival houses, but we were always together. The heads of our houses frowned on us being together all the time, but we didn’t care. However, when it came time for war, houses were (mostly) forgotten, and we would have each other’s back during the battles. We were willing to die for each other. We also lived in a borderline bad neighborhood at the time. One night one of our neighbors started beating his wife in their front yard. I ran out to break it up, and I got the guy off of the woman. He came after me, and I manged to coax him back onto my property. Keep in mind: this is Texas. He was attacking me on my own property. Jason, my roommate, or I could shoot and kill the guy and be legally free of repercussions. Jason stepped on to the porch with his .357 magnum, and told the guy that he should stop. The look on the guy’s face was priceless, and it was at that moment that I realized that Jason would be willing to kill for me as well as die for me. I had finally found someone that I could call a best friend. We spent another year together as good friends, but I was getting tired of my home town. I couldn’t find a job anywhere, so I picked up my life and took it to San Antonio. I only saw Jason one other time after that. He had moved to Arkansas to be with his mother, and I drove up to Arkansas to visit him for a weekend. It happened to be the re-release of Star Wars Episode IV, and he was a huge Star Wars fan. I figured I’d take him to the movie for his birthday. We had a good time for the long weekend, but it was over way too quickly. When I left Arkansas, I never saw him again. I talked to him a few times over the years, but I have not spoken to Jason since around 1999. He told me that he was entering a seminary school to become a Catholic priest. His ultimate goal was to become a Franciscan Monk and teach to convicts that are spending time in prison. It’s a noble aspiration. I really would love to reconnect with him, but I’m not sure that will ever happen. Maybe if I save up some money for a private investigator, I’ll be able to find him. I just hope that he’s alive, happy, and doing well in his endeavors.
Since Jason and I parted ways, I have not had a “best friend.” Sure, I’ve had friends. I still have friends, and I love the friends that I have. However, none of them really jump out at me as being a better friend than all of the rest. I’m close to all of my friends, and I have their back at all times. I’m also pretty sure that they have my back as well, but would they kill for me? Would they die for me? I don’t know. Maybe I’m holding the bar too high. Each of my best friends has been better than the previous ones. Should I stop looking to improve upon what I’ve had in the past? Maybe the ghosts in my past are too impressive and I’ll never consider another person my best friend because of that. I’m sure it isn’t fair to the people that are currently in my life, but I’m not sure that I can stop comparing what I currently have to what I once had. Maybe someday, I’ll find that just right person that I can step up and claim to be a best friend. Maybe I’ll never have that again. The thought of never having a best friend again kind of makes me sad. I enjoyed having someone in my life that I could rely on for anything. I also enjoyed being there for a person in all aspects of life.
Chris, Curtis, J.J., Jason, I hope this day finds you happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Depression Boy
Jhianna and Jasmine told me last night at the D&D game that my blog has been especially depressing lately. I haven’t intentionally tried to be depressing, so I’ll try to be a little more cheerful from here on out. I did tell them that they should read some of my writings from my junior year of high school. That was some dark and sinister stuff back then. My junior year of high school was probably the worst year of my life, and it really showed in my attitude, writings, lack of friends, and outlook on my future. I would go into details, but they’re depressing, and I don’t want to be Depression Boy anymore. Maybe I’ll fill you in on the details later. We’ll see.
I did have an interesting dream last night. It involved monks, pizza, and paraplegics. I’ll write it up for tomorrow’s post. You’ll just have to wait until then to get the details.
OOTS Adventure Game
I bought the Order of the Stick Adventure Game last Tuesday, and we got together to play it Saturday night. We had Bobo, Kolvedic, Craing, Jhianna, Jasmine, and myself playing. I had read the quick start rules (actually, it was a comic, which was kind of funny), but that didn’t really give me a firm grasp on the rules. I read the rules while we were setting up the game, and we had to refer to them quite often. Fortunately, Bobo is a quick learner, and he helped with the rules.
We played the shortest game possible (supposed to run 3-4 hours,) but it took us close to 6 hours to finish the game up. I think this was mainly because we were unfamiliar with the rules. It didn’t help that the rules were a little convoluted, and hard to follow. About 2 hours into the game Kolvedic gave up on it and walked away. I don’t blame him one bit. I was about ready to do the same, but since I had shelled out $40 on the game, I wanted to see at least one game finished.
I had a hard time killing monsters without help. I was playing Elan the bard, and he really sucks in combat. The schticks that I started out with made me a great support character, but it wasn’t until the end that I really got to kill something to earn more schticks. By that time, it was really too late for me to try to win the game.
Bobo ended up killing Xykon the lich, and the dungeon started to collapse, so we all ran to the dungeon entrance (per the rules.) We all made it out of the dungeon, and counted up our points. I came in last (but only 4 points out of the lead, somehow.) Jhianna was next, then Craing. Bobo and Jasmine tied for first place, but then Jasmine recounted her Loot, and she came out 1 point ahead of Bobo. Go Jasmine!
When I got home with the game, I threw it into the closet with the rest of our board games, and it will probably stay there until the end of time. If I’m going to get together with my friends to play a card game, it will either be Munchkin or Illuminati. However, I will say that the game was amusing all the way through to the end. Rich Burlew did a wonderful job with keeping the comedy in the game. I was kind of worried about that. Regardless, the game is barely above average, and will probably not be played again by this group of people.
Halloween Party
I went to a Halloween party Friday night at Fred’s invite. I barely managed to get out past all of the snow, but I got on my way nicely once I made it to paved roads. I stopped to get some food before getting a haircut before the party. I decided to dye my hair blond this time around, but the stylist didn’t do a good enough job. It came out a lighter red color. What a waste of time and money. I’ll probably get something from the store and do it myself in a week or two.
I was one of the first people to get to the party, so I hung out and helped Fred with the decorations for the party. He’s got a thing about heights, and we needed to hang some lights about 10 feet above the floor. Not too high, but the ladder that I had was shoddy. After bailing off of the ladder a few times, I managed to get the lights hung where they needed to go.
People finally started showing up, and the party got into full swing. I knew all of 10 people that were there, but I still had a good time. There were some good costumes. I went as Randall from Clerks 2. I had the Ranger Danger T-shirt, the Moobys overshirt, and the Leonardo Reapers hat that was on backwards. I felt like I had a pathetic costume for the party. I’m going to have to do better next year. One thing that made me happy was that about half of the people there recognized the Moobys shirt. That made me feel good for Kevin Smith.
We had a total of a little over 100 people at the party. There was good dance music, and plenty of booze. I stopped drinking around Midnight, and stuck to water after that point. Just before I left at around 1:45, I grabbed an energy drink and downed it on the road home. It was a good time, and I was glad that Fred dropped me an invite. I hope that we get together again next year, and I’ll have a better costume next time around.
