Think Green
I’ve been needing to do this rant for a while, but I’ve been putting it off because of my NaBloPoMo theme, and this just didn’t fit in. I just can’t hold it back anymore.
I’m tired of all of this “Think Green” bullshit that’s been going around. Two weeks ago NBC did a “Think Green Week” and all of their shows had some sort of environmental message. Every. Single. One. I watch a lot of NBC, so I had to swallow lots of Al Gore’s spew during that week. It was a sucky week.
I had to get some unrefined sugar (Jaggerty sugar for you brewers out there) for a batch of beer that I made today. The best place to find this kind of stuff easily is Whole Foods, Wild Oats, or the organic section of Safeway. I hate all three of those. I’m allergic to organic, all natural, never bathe because it requires soap, dreadlock having, hemp wearing, buck the system, defeat The Man kind of people. I used to be like those people (except for the lack of soap part), but that was when I was young and stupid. These hippies that are 30+ in age need to realize that it’s time to grow up, get a job, and pay their way through life….
Sorry…. Sidetracked…. Anyways….
I was in Wild Oats today getting my 2/3rds of a pound of Jaggery sugar (and some Chai something-or-the-other-in-a-purple-box for Kiara) and everywhere I looked was “Think Green”, “Save Earth”, blah blah blah blah.
I’m so tired of having this crap shoved down my throat. Enough already!
However, that is not my main complaint. That’s right. I’m just getting warmed up on this rant. My main complaint is that the freaks of nature that are trying to save this planet have picked the wrong color. Again. The. Wrong. Friggin’. Color.
Earth is not green. Plants are green. 2/3rds of the Earth’s surface is covered by water. That leaves 1/3rd where plants can grow and be seen. Plants don’t grow everywhere, which means less than 30% of the Earth’s surface is green. I’d even be willing to bet that the number is closer to 15% of Earth is green. See up there where I said that 2/3rds of the Earth’s surface is water? Yeah. Guess what color water is these days? It’s blue. Right. BLUE. Not green. Again. Not. Green.
All of these people running around screaming about the sky falling, the globe warming, carbon credits (what the fuck are those anyways?), CO2 emissions, methane clouds from cow farts, and all that crap don’t even know what color their own planet is. I bet Al Gore came up with that whole “Think Green” crap. Yeah. The only green he’s concerned with is the massive amounts of green that is pouring into his wallet from his book and movie deals, and he doesn’t want it to stop anytime soon.
Don’t believe me that Earth is blue? Hey. Check out these photos:
The Blue Marble. Yep. That’s what NASA calls this image: 
Here’s a page full of them. Check them out. All blue. Yep. There’s one that has quite a bit of green in it, but there’s still more blue than green.
I could go on. I really, really could. However, Kiara wants me to come to bed before midnight tonight.
Some parting words.
Forget green.
Think blue.
While you’re thinking blue, I’m going to be out back burning some used tires while pouring some old motor oil into the water table. I’m just giving Al Gore something to write his next book about. We wouldn’t want him to have to give up his private jet (yeah, how green blue is that?) now would we?
