ridiculously
Random word list:
nominalize
orthopaedist
ridiculously
costumic
saluting
Word chosen: ridiculously
Definition: causing or worthy of ridicule or derision; absurd; preposterous; laughable
Free association word list:
clowns
scary clowns
zombie clowns
zombies
ninjas
pirates
global warming
Flying Spaghetti Monster
religion
church
belief
faith
God
Jesus
Holy Ghost
Trinity
Neo
The Matrix
blue pill
password
secret
stash
Word chosen: zombie clowns
Writing:
Blood flew in a curiously pleasing arc as the head flew across the room. As the head spun and flipped through the air, I could see in alternating patterns the bright red mop of curly hair, and the painted white face of the clown. The face had been snarling at my neck just a few moments ago, but now it seemed to be serenely at peace. It’s funny how you notice these little details as the adrenaline courses through your veins.
I didn’t have time to admire the wet sounds that the head made as it bounced to a stop behind the ratty old couch. I had to turn my focus to the next scary clown that was heading my way. This one was painted to resemble a cowboy, and I wondered which rodeo he had escaped from as I swung my axe at its neck. Fortunately for me, these mindless bastards don’t dodge too well. Their only concern is to tear the flesh from the living. As this one closed in on me, my axe closed in on the space between its shoulders and its head.
The shock thundered up my arms as it always does when I chop the head from a clown zombie. The first dozen times I was forced to do this, I was revolted and lost my lunch more than once. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve done this in the past three weeks, but the feeling of cutting through the vertebra of a zombie is a satisfying one now. In the horror of combat against the undead, I’ve come to rely on the soothing feeling of chopping my way through the flesh of those that are crazed by the tainted cosmetics that were shipped over from China.
When this all started, I was using a sword that I had bought from the Renaissance Faire three years ago, but the edge finally wore off of it. I then moved to a machete that I had lying in my garage. The machete worked well enough, but it sliced too cleanly through the clowns. There was an efficiency of motion to it, but it wasn’t gratifying to send another zombie to its eternal rest.
Almost two weeks ago I found this axe in an abandoned hardware store. It wasn’t my weapon of choice, but it was the closest thing at hand when one of those rare fast moving zombies jumped me and knocked my machete out of my grasp. It was chance meeting, me and this axe, but it was love at first touch. Several other survivors have mocked me for wielding such an awkward weapon against the clowns, but it has served me well.
Me and my axe against a raging horde of zombie clowns. Times have gotten interesting, and I can’t wait for another chance to swing my best friend through the air again.
I was thinking of Kolvedic and Jhianna the entire time I was writing this. Kolvedic has a thing for clowns, and Jhianna has a thing for zombies. I figured that I would mix the two fears and see what I could come up with. It was written in first person, but I’m not too sure it was a fictional character speaking there. It was a fictional scenario, sure, but I think that I was speaking as myself here. I’ve never chopped anyone with an axe, so the feeling of it is pure speculation. It just seems to me that an axe would deliver a more satisfying impact than a sword. I hope I never have to find out, but if zombie clowns do try to take over the world, I’m willing to give it a try.
