Rat Maze
I used to have two rats as pets. I’ve always loved rodents. They are such facinating creatures. The names of my rats were Cthulhu and Hastur, and they were wonderful to have around for the few short years that they lived with us. I just wished that rodents lived longer lives.
I’m in a maze. The top is open to harsh flourescent lighting, and the walls are a muted beige color. I wander the maze looking for a way out, and after a while, it becomes obvious that I won’t make it out. I come across a waist high pedestal that contains a square, flat cardboard box. It looks likes a pizza box to me, so I decide to open it up and see what kind of toppings are on the pizza. When I touch the box, I feel a strange surge of energy. I ignore it, and proceed to open the box. When I lift the lid just a slight bit, I get a strong surge of electricity through my body. I think I can hear something laughing at me, but I can’t be sure. I’m getting pretty hungry, so I try to open the box from a different angle with the same results.
The pizza box bewilders me, so I decide to leave it alone for now. I can try to open it later. I decide that there is a way out of this maze, so I start looking for it. I’m pretty good at mazes on paper, and I try to execute the same plans that I use for top-down mazes. You pick either the “Law of Left” or the “Rule of Right”. Basically, you pick a side, and keep your hand on that wall until you find the exit. It may not be the fastest way, or the most logical way, but it does the trick. There are a few types of mazes where this methodology does not work, and I’m hoping that this is not one of them. I just wish that I had a way to mark the corridors, so that I could tell where I had already been. The walls are just too non-descript to make out any details.
I choose the “Rule of Right”, and place my right hand on the wall. I start to move forward, and make all right hand turns. I think I hear some chittering sounds coming from above me, but it’s too hard to tell. I walk the maze for what feels like hours, but I’m unable to find a way out. Either this is a huge maze, or the “Rule of Right” is failing me. I decide to turn around and go back the way I came. Since I’m going in the opposite direction, I have to use the “Law of Left” to retrace my steps.
Eventually, I end up back at the pizza box, and by this time I’m very hungry. I decide to give the shock-box another go. Instead of holding on to the lid as I open it, I’m going to try to fling the box open. With a quick flick of my wrist I throw the box open. I get a small shock, but I’m rewarded with the box now being open. It contains a large, thick-crust, Hawaiian pizza. Not my favorite, but it doesn’t break my rule of “no bait” on pizza, so I start to dig in.
As I reach for the pizza, I’m suddenly grabbed from above, and lifted in the air. I struggle in the grasp of whatever has me, and I twist around. I come face-to-face with a gigantic rat. I immediately recognize the color patterns on the face of the rat. It’s Hastur! My pet rat has grown to immense proportions, and is now performing strange experiments on me. Hastur carries me to a glass enclosure, drops me in, and closes the lid. He then picks up a clipboard and starts to make some sort of notes on it.
I realize that I’m now part of some strange experiment, and all I have to look forward to in my days are my treadmill, my food, my maze tests, and sleeping. What a horrible way to live.
Fortunately, I don’t have to live that way for long. My alarm went off slightly after making the sad realization that I was trapped in a test lab.
